Family breakdown

This page is for children and young people in families with separated parents. It explains the law and your rights.

When you need legal advice

Get legal advice if:

  • you believe you are at risk of being harmed, even if there is a court order
  • you are concerned about arrangements being made between your parents
  • you are thinking about making your own application to court to change which parent you live with or spend time with.

How to get legal advice

Parental responsibilities

Your parents have a legal obligation to look after you until you are 18, which includes duties to:

  • maintain you (e.g. make sure you get any needed medical care)
  • provide you with necessities (e.g. food, shelter and clothing)
  • send you to school.

The law gives parents certain responsibilities to ensure that they look after your wellbeing. However, the extent of these responsibilities decreases as you grow older and are more able to look after yourself.

Divorce and separation does not change the obligations your parents have towards you. Even if your parents are separated or divorced, they both still have the same responsibility to look after you until you turn 18. If your parents can't agree on arrangements for your care when they split up, then a court may get involved and make 'orders' which could change the way responsibilities are shared between your parents.

When parents split up

If your parents are splitting up, or have split up, things can be tough and confusing.

There are a lot of things to work out, including who you will live with and when you will see each parent, your brothers and sisters, and other family members like your grandparents.

The law says your 'best interests' are the most important thing and it's your parents' job to work out what is in your best interests. Each family is different, so there are many different arrangements that can be made.

As a general rule, the law says it is in your best interests to have contact with both parents and your brothers and sisters. Just how and when this happens depends on your family's circumstances.

Your parents can talk about arrangements together and reach an agreement about what should happen. If they do this, they do not have to go to court. They may need to get the help of someone outside the family to talk things through.

If your parents can't agree, then they can apply to the court for parenting orders. Parenting orders usually deal with:

  • whether you will live with one parent or they should share your care
  • the time you spend with the parent you don't live with
  • the time you spend with other important family members
  • how your parents make decisions about other important issues like your health, education and religion.

Learn more about parenting orders

Your input on decisions

The law recognises your right to contribute to decisions, including where you live, and will consider any wishes you express about what you would like to happen.

If there is a court hearing about you, you do not go to court. The way the court hears what you want is usually by getting someone (such as a psychologist or counsellor) to talk to you about what you think and prepare a family report, which your parents and the court will get to see. This family report will tell the court what your views and wishes are. How it does that will depend on your age and maturity.

The court also looks at other factors including:

  • the nature of your relationship with your parents and others
  • the likely effect of any changes in your living arrangements
  • the capacity of each parent, or of any other person, to provide for your needs, including your emotional and intellectual needs
  • your maturity, sex and background (including any need to maintain a connection with your lifestyle, culture and traditions)
  • the need to protect you from harm
  • your parents’ attitudes towards you and parenthood responsibilities.

In general, courts prefer not to separate you and your brothers and sisters, if you have any. Usually, it's in a child's best interests to have contact with both parents, unless violence or abuse makes that unsafe.

Independent children's lawyers

Sometimes the court may decide to appoint a lawyer whose job is to make sure your best interests are considered by the court. This lawyer is called an independent children's lawyer.

To give the court information about your wishes and views, the lawyer will usually organise for someone (such as a psychologist, counsellor or social worker) to talk to you and other people in your life, like your parents or grandparents. This person will usually prepare a family report for the court to consider. They might also get information from other sources, like your school, doctor or counsellor.

The lawyer recommends to the court what arrangements they consider to be in your best interests. They provide the court with information about your views and wishes, but what they recommend to the court might be different from what you want, if they think that it is in your best interests, after considering all the information they have gathered about you.

The independent children's lawyer should explain how the system works and choices the court might have to make about your future.

Learn more about independent children's lawyers 

Switching which parent you live or spend time with

You should start by talking to your parents about what you would like to change.

If the three of you can agree on how to change the arrangements, then your parents can deal with changing any court orders or agreements. If your parents can't agree, then one of them can apply to court.

If there are court orders already in place, then these need to be followed until they are changed. The only excuse is if following the orders puts you at risk of harm.

In some cases, you might be able to make an application to court yourself—get legal advice.

Acknowledgement—This information was prepared using factsheets that are copyright to the Commonwealth of Australia, National Legal Aid and the National Children's Law Centre

How to get legal advice

Legal Aid Queensland may provide legal advice on laws about family breakdown and related issues.

Contact us

Other places to get legal advice:

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Related information

Disclaimer: This content is for general purposes only and not legal advice. If you have a legal problem, please contact us or speak to a lawyer. View our full disclaimer.

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